Draft #1 : Song Cry
"The pain that you have been feeling can not compare to the joy that is coming." - Romans 8:18
*Drake's POV*
My daughter Lotus Dior is my universe and most of the time it's just us kicking it. With me bearing all of the parent responsibility it's hard, but I can't complain. But a girl needs her mom and Nicki is supposed to carry her weight on the weekends. Lottie gets excited to see her mom, but most of the time it's me calling her phone and getting nothing but crickets on the other line. Tell me how I am supposed to explain to a 1 year old girl that her mother doesn't wanna make time for her this week. I mean it tears my heart apart you know, I'm at the end of my rope and we gotta find a way to make this work.
I wish I could say that all of my lady drama came from the women I was tryna get with or the women that was tryna get with me, but that would mean me leaving out the biggest headache of them all. My baby mama Nicki. Nicki's been missing her days with Lottie left and right lately and I'm just at my breaking point. So I hit up my man Ryan since I haven't seen him since he been traveling the world with his girl and their new baby boy. Nobody's really good at putting things in perspective for me than him and I'm thankful for that.
"Wassup bro?" I walked up to him and dapped him.
"Aye man."
"Whats been going on?"
"Maaaannnn nothing much... Living you feel me?" I smiled and chuckled a bit.
"Whats been going on with these ladies tho?"
"You know I'm tryna balance out the single life and be a full time father," I sighed.
"Right." Ryan nodded.
"Dealing with baby mama... Just tryna show her where she really needs to exist in this child's life."
Just help me understand bro like-" He paused to clear his throat. "You have Lottie for pretty much the remainder of the time and then she gets weekends? Like..."
"Yeah like I basically took on everything bro. Paying her tuition, making sure she's got clothes and food to where now even on the times that she's supposed to have her, she's not doing it. So it's like I'm then rearranging my schedule again for her not to spend time with her daughter." I spoke in an underlying tone of frustration.
"Oh I get what you're saying."
"Like its ridiculous bro. Like for 3 weekends straight she hasn't been with her daughter."
"You are the definition of a real man. You take care of your responsibilities and you make sure that Lottie is cool. That's just the type of person that you are and as a parent I respect that so much and I look up to you because you know it's a lot of parents out there that don't to that. What you're doing is what a man should to be doing. You know what I'm saying? You're handling your responsibilities so when stuff like that is happening I'm just thinking like man I hope Lottie don't gotta pay for that."
"Thank you man. I appreciate that. I gotta figure it out bro because it's becoming ridiculous. Maybe I should go holla at her moms or something because you know maybe she could talk some sense into her. Because her mother knows how to talk to her or whatever the case may be because I want nothing more than for Lottie to spend time with her mom bro."
"So..." Ryan paused to laugh. "So you gon' holla at moms? I think that that's a good step towards you know doing something different..."
*Nicki's POV*
"Shit." I mumbled rubbing a hand over my face. Must have partied a lil' too hard last night. I giggled to myself and looked around the room to see the mess we've created from the night before. I look over next to me to see my man with a pillow over his head and his right hand slowly running my thigh up and down.
*Drake's POV*
My daughter Lotus Dior is my universe and most of the time it's just us kicking it. With me bearing all of the parent responsibility it's hard, but I can't complain. But a girl needs her mom and Nicki is supposed to carry her weight on the weekends. Lottie gets excited to see her mom, but most of the time it's me calling her phone and getting nothing but crickets on the other line. Tell me how I am supposed to explain to a 1 year old girl that her mother doesn't wanna make time for her this week. I mean it tears my heart apart you know, I'm at the end of my rope and we gotta find a way to make this work.
I wish I could say that all of my lady drama came from the women I was tryna get with or the women that was tryna get with me, but that would mean me leaving out the biggest headache of them all. My baby mama Nicki. Nicki's been missing her days with Lottie left and right lately and I'm just at my breaking point. So I hit up my man Ryan since I haven't seen him since he been traveling the world with his girl and their new baby boy. Nobody's really good at putting things in perspective for me than him and I'm thankful for that.
"Wassup bro?" I walked up to him and dapped him.
"Aye man."
"Whats been going on?"
"Maaaannnn nothing much... Living you feel me?" I smiled and chuckled a bit.
"Whats been going on with these ladies tho?"
"You know I'm tryna balance out the single life and be a full time father," I sighed.
"Right." Ryan nodded.
"Dealing with baby mama... Just tryna show her where she really needs to exist in this child's life."
Just help me understand bro like-" He paused to clear his throat. "You have Lottie for pretty much the remainder of the time and then she gets weekends? Like..."
"Yeah like I basically took on everything bro. Paying her tuition, making sure she's got clothes and food to where now even on the times that she's supposed to have her, she's not doing it. So it's like I'm then rearranging my schedule again for her not to spend time with her daughter." I spoke in an underlying tone of frustration.
"Oh I get what you're saying."
"Like its ridiculous bro. Like for 3 weekends straight she hasn't been with her daughter."
"You are the definition of a real man. You take care of your responsibilities and you make sure that Lottie is cool. That's just the type of person that you are and as a parent I respect that so much and I look up to you because you know it's a lot of parents out there that don't to that. What you're doing is what a man should to be doing. You know what I'm saying? You're handling your responsibilities so when stuff like that is happening I'm just thinking like man I hope Lottie don't gotta pay for that."
"Thank you man. I appreciate that. I gotta figure it out bro because it's becoming ridiculous. Maybe I should go holla at her moms or something because you know maybe she could talk some sense into her. Because her mother knows how to talk to her or whatever the case may be because I want nothing more than for Lottie to spend time with her mom bro."
"So..." Ryan paused to laugh. "So you gon' holla at moms? I think that that's a good step towards you know doing something different..."
*Nicki's POV*
"Shit." I mumbled rubbing a hand over my face. Must have partied a lil' too hard last night. I giggled to myself and looked around the room to see the mess we've created from the night before. I look over next to me to see my man with a pillow over his head and his right hand slowly running my thigh up and down.
"Morning Daddy." I spoke softly lightly kising his neck
"Mm babe stop its too early for this." Odell rolled over and laid his head on my lap. I smiled down at him and raked my fingers through his hair.
"Last night was so fun..." I mused and Odell pecked my inner thigh. He must've overheard me.
"Yeah 'cus I tore dat ass up!"
I laughed at his obnoxiousness. "Daddy you was a beast last night... You never acted like that before."
"Blame it on the alcohol baby... But I'm bouta have me some breakfast tho." He turned to face me and he smirked making me raise my eyebrow.
"Oh really?"
"Meet me downstairs in the kitchen. I gotta prepare myself for this feast I'm bouta have." Odell said in a deep voice that made me squeal and jump off the bed in excitement.
"Chocolate or whipped cream?" I asked before he made his way to the bathroom to relieve himself.
"Nah baby get the caramel I'll be down in a few."
"Oh yassss!" My eyes lit up and I clapped my hands excitedly.
"Oh yassss!" My eyes lit up and I clapped my hands excitedly.
***
I swear we've been going at it all morning. How come he's not tired yet? Was it because I gave him that ecstasy pill earlier before we started going it at like rabbits? My body was burning beneath Odell's in pure bliss. I was beginning to reach that perfect high until I heard my phone vibrating beside me. I look over and see Aubrey's name pop up on the screen.
"Nah baby he can wait. Your ass is mine right now." He grunted as he stroked deeper to the point where I could feel him in the pit of my stomach. Odell then laid me down on the bed and put one leg on his shoulder as my other leg stayed tight wrapped around his waist. I gripped the sheets with my left hand while my nails clawed at his shoulder as I rolled my hips against his. 'Dell kissed me with so much passion and love as he grunted every time he pushed inside of me making sure to hit deeper and deeper, he was making each stroke count before he had to leave for work
"Mmmm fuck baby!" I moaned as my phone went off again.
"Shit Nic..." Odell grunted and his pace quickened making my eyes roll to the back of my head.
Draft #2 : Hood Scriptures
The producer started the beat and she swiftly out the headphones around her head. "Murda Mami on the beat..." She said softly and sultry as she then looked over to her right and smirked at the man awaiting his cue.
"Papi you ready?"
"Let em' know wassup baby girl." He licked his lips and wiped the corners of his mouth. They were putting the final touches on their song before it's finalized and released out to the streets. That meant having ad-libs, the refrain, song blocks and all that other stuff.
This was only their third single and the streets was talking. Murda Mami and Champagne Papi. The hottest new rap duo. Besides running the underground rap world, they also run the streets of Brooklyn. Yup. They're two of the biggest and bestest drug lords in the business.
Nicki and Drake been running the business ever since they were teenagers. They've had their same group of niggas and bitches who been rocking with them since day 1. No mentors included. it was self taught for them? But their names... Murda Mami and Champagne Papi... They earned that. That right there is another story.
Nicki earned the name Murda Mami because she's the silent killer. When it comes down to drugs and money, Nicki don't play no games. So whoever fucks her over or even tries to fuck with her she'll be quick to but a bullet to your heart and through your skull. Nicki also earned the name Murda Mami because of her sick rhymes. When Nicki gets in the studio she'll murder the beat and anyone who's featured on the song just by her lyrics.
Now Champagne Papi? How did he get that name? Well... everytime Drake gets ready to shoot someone he has a glass of champagne or whenever he's in the studio he'll have champagne bottles all around. No champagne isn't his favorite thing to drink it's just "the buzz before the buzz" as Drake likes to put it.
With the studio being all the way in Harlem, the warehouse in Bronx and the safehouse being in Staten Island, Nicki and Drake basically run the entire state of New York.
Now the question is, how did they meet? Well Nicki was in Toronto hunting down a nigga who tried to sell her out and she wasn't having that. It just so happened that Drake was looking for the same guy. After finding the guy and getting what they needed, they of course fucked the boul up and proceeded about their day. Few days later Nicki decided to pay Drake a visit since he did help her find the guy she was looking for. Long story short Drake smooth talked her and asked her on a date and the rest was history.
Draft #3 : Self Righteous
oneshot
"Love... what is it exactly? Is love a feeling or is it an emotion? How do you know when your in love with a person? Is it possible to fall out of love? How can you tell someone you love them if you don't even know what love is? Do you know how to love? Can a person be taught how to love? What's the difference between love and lust? I think the biggest question is... what makes love love and what makes it last?" - Unknown
~~~
onika t. maraj
I opened my journal and quickly started writing my thoughts. My therapist told me to do this whenever I was feeling some kinda way.
Journal Entry #52
I'm not normal. I mean no one is but it's different for me. Someone can see me on the street and can start judging me from the jump when they don't know half the shit I been through. I've been through hell and back three times! Since I was 14 I been living out on my own. I had no mother and I had no father. All I had at the time was a sorry ass boyfriend. The streets of New York raised me and I have no shame of saying that. I'm proud of the woman I am today because I have two beautiful children who I wouldn't trade for the world. Yeah their father is a dick and a deadbeat but I love my kids more than anything. I don't think I know what love is, but after I had my first born Javari I knew that I loved him the first time I held him.
I'm 33 years old and my son is 17 so you do the math. My baby girl Kamiah just turned 2. Yes my children have the same father and if you're wondering who it's by it's that sorry ass boyfriend who I mentioned earlier. No he's not in the picture and I'm perfectly fine with that. Javari is too. I mean I know he feels some kinda way that his dad wasn't in his life but I tried to make an effort. I tried my hardest to be the father that I wanted him to be and the father that he needed to be. I tried. I tried my hardest goddamnit but it wasn't good enough because Drake still isn't in the picture. I've cried, I've prayed and it's time to move on. Drake caused me so much pain that I eventually forgave him for... but abandoning his kids is something that I will NEVER forgive him for.
- O.T.M
As I finished signing my name on the line in my journal I sighed deeply while closing it. In therapy I was told not to bottle my emotions up and keep them to myself. I had to let them out in some sort of way that didn't involve me screaming or crying, so I started writing my thoughts and emotions in this journal. I keep the journal in a safe place in my closet so my kids won't find out. I don't want my kids to see me as weak. I want them to look at me and say "Wow my mom is a strong woman". Even when I'm dead I still want them to look at me as a strong woman. I hate being seen as weak.
I reached over and grabbed my phone off the charger. 7:58 am it read. I swiped over and punched in my passcode. I wanted to check my notifications and see if anyone was blowing me up since I've been in one of those moods for the past two days.
23 Facebook notifications & 5 friend requests.
45 Instagram friend requests.
Snapchat from Candi.
Snapchat from Lauren.
Snapchat from Caiah.
Snapchat from TT.
Sherika screenshot your snap!
4 missed calls from Lani.
9 missed calls from Mommy.
You have 128 messages from "Babes"
I shook my head and giggled at all of those messages from the group chat with my friends and continued scrolling down my notifications.
Before I finished checking my notifications my mothers name pops up on the screen indicating that she's calling me.
"Hello?"
~~~
javari m. graham
I rolled over and groaned hearing my mom talk on the phone with mommy. That's what I call my grandma... but it's wayyy too early for them to be laughing and talking on the phone.
I stretched, rolled off the bed, and wiped the crust out my eyes. Then I walked to the bathroom to relieve myself and do my morning hygiene.
Once I was finished I threw on some socks and ball shorts when I heard a tiny knock at my door. I instantly thought it was my mother but judging my the sound of the voice, I knew it couldn't be her.
Kamiah was standing at the door with a bright smile on her face and her arms raised indicating that she wanted to be picked up. I chuckled, picked her up and kissed her cheek.
"Wassup Tink?" I asked and tickled her side.
She giggled before responding, "I hungry." Kamiah then wiggled from my grip and dragged me downstairs to the kitchen.
"What you wanna eat kid? cereal? Waffles? You name it." I smiled at her as she tapped her chin thinking about what she wanted to eat.
"Uhh... I knee know..." Tink replied before I placed her on top of the counter.
I swear my love for this little girl is indescribable. Not all siblings love each other or if they do it's a love hate relationship but it's not like that for me. It's just the little things that she says or does that makes me smile. Her shrugging her shoulders, the way she holds her hands on her hips, when she can't say "I don't know" she says "I knee know", and even when I nicknamed her Tink after Tinker Bell because of the strange obsession she has over those fairy movies. The way I gush over Kamiah shows how much I love my little sister and I'll always be her overprotective big brother. I don't care how old she is.
"Ok let me think..." I said and pondered my options. "Bacon and pancakes?" I looked over at Tink who was staring up at me.
"Stawbewwy cakes?"
"That's what you want?" I asked for confirmation getting a head nod in response.
As I was getting the pans out of the cabinet, the bacon from the fridge and the pancake mix from the other cabinet I heard my mom walking downstairs with a bunch of stuff in her hands. It looked like papers... maybe bills or something I don't know.
"Hey mom." I greeted as soon as she walked in the kitchen. I stopped what I was doing kissed her cheek.
"Morning Vari."
"MOMMY!" Kamiah yelled and my mom picked her up kissing her all over her face making her laugh.
"Hi Tink!"
"Mommy look! Brodie make cakes." Tink pointed over at me and cheesed.
"I see baby... Your brother never cooks though. Son what's the occasion?" Mom said putting Kamiah in her booster seat and getting some orange juice for herself.
"Well mom you see..." I chuckled a bit and popped my imaginary collar. "Since I'm the man of the house it's only right that I take care of my wonderful mother and my wonderful little sister."
Mom laughed obnoxiously making Tink laugh too. "MiMi I don't know why you laughing! You asked me to make you food." I rolled my eyes.
"Aww!" Mom gushed running her fingers through my curls. "You making breakfast for your sister?"
"Well yeah because she bussed in my room like she was somebody and I heard you on the phone talking to mommy so..." I trailed off flipping the pancakes in the pan.
~~~
onika t. maraj
"Ok Tink what you wanna do today? You wanna hang with mommy or go with Auntie Sherika?" I bent down to Kamiah's size after I finished putting my earrings in.
"Mommy where you going?"
"A photo shoot for work."
"You take pictures?"
"Yeah."
"I come too?" she pointed to herself and I giggled and nodded.
"Yeah babe lets go get dressed.
I know for sure that I want to continue Self Righteous... I'm just not sure how I feel about the other 2. I need your thoughts & opinions please!!!!
